Thursday, August 26, 2010

Winning hearts and minds for barter and trade

In the world of personal relations there are a few simple truths that I though that I would let you in on.  For starters remember this; people naturally think that everybody else is like them.  That means a kind hearted person thinks that everyone else is deep down kind hearted as well.  The thief and the liar will think that everyone else is like them also.  So far starters put aside who you are, and  figure out who you are dealing with, it may not be the person that you think it is. 

Once you have decided that this person is someone that you may want to continue to associate with either personally or professionally you can proceed to the next step.  If this is a person that you do not fully trust but must do business with anyhow then you can get that done also using the next few tips.

To gain the trust of most people remember that they will initially think that you are like them.  Use this natural tendency to your advantage.  If they create distance and keep their hands in their pockets when talking with you do the same.  If they are the kind of people that are a little too close for comfort then you must resist the urge to create space.  If they are the type to touch your shoulder or arm during conversation then you must do the same.  If they are the type that talks a lot with their hands, try to do the same.  Take caution not to mimic their exact actions but to be that type of person.  It takes practice to do this and it can even be pulled off in small groups but do not attempt that until you can use this skill on a one to one basis.  They key is learning how to remain emotionally detached and pay attention to the person that you are dealing with.  If you can initially get them taking about themselves you will get a good opportunity to observe them.  People enjoy talking about their own accomplishments, if they do not give up the information willingly do not press it or they will be put off.

What this does is create familiarity with the person and they are quicker to let their guard down and feel comfortable with you.  This allows you to manipulate your interaction to you advantage.  This is not hypnosis and they will not hand over their wallet, it is not for scams.  It is a communication technique that allows you to connect to people on their level and build a better relationship for mutual gain.

Pay attention to the type of verbiage that they use in conversation and attempt to use the same types when speaking to them.  This is really tricky when talking to groups because you have to be able to direct your conversations at the individuals without making the others feel left out.  It takes alot of practice but it will help to make you a person that people enjoy dealing with and will become a very useful tool when the time comes to barter goods and services instead of trading useless currency like we do now.

The ability to barter for goods will be a  very useful skill and while you may get away with the occasional scam the word will get around quickly that you are not to be trusted.  The better way to approach a barter situation is be willing to give up some ground and the barter should be mutually beneficial.  No one wants to walk away from a trade feeling that they have just been taken for a ride.  Remember this,  because every bridge that you burn will not be available for use in the future and if you burn all the bridges you are left alone to fend for yourself.  Now is the time to develop these skills before you have to rely on them for your own survival.